


Getting "Laid"

by Ookamisan



Series: Sexathoning [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bad Dragon, Breeding, Dildos, Egg Laying, Knotting, Lube Enema, M/M, Oviposition, Sex Toys, Splorch, Unrealistic Sex, Wet & Messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:23:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7908100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookamisan/pseuds/Ookamisan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles introduces Derek to more of his wild kinks</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> how far am i willing to go? nobody knows  
> dialogue at this point is equivalent to sitting with a cup of tea  
> "do you want this in your arse, sir?"  
> "i would like this up my arse, sir."  
> "how do you want this up your arse, sir?"  
> "quite up my arse, sir."  
> ohohoho 
> 
> someone just end me
> 
> To see what a Splorch looks like: https://vice-images.vice.com/images/articles/meta/2015/08/12/the-emerging-fetish-of-laying-alien-eggs-inside-yourself-1439338773.jpg?resize=*:*&output-quality=75

"Ok this is just getting weird. Are you going to try every kink you can come up with?" Derek stared at Stiles who had a large salad bowl filled with twelve multi-colored silicone eggs that were about plastic easter egg sized. In his other hand he had what looked like the freakiest dildo Derek had yet seen. Was it even supposed to resemble a penis?

"What is it?" Derek squinted.

"An ovipositor." Stiles said jovially.

"An ovi-what?"

"It's basically a tentacle... insect egg depositor... thing." Stiles said, now looking at it with some confusion himself, turning it around in his hand. "It's called a Splorch. It's supposed to mimic an insect laying it's eggs in you I guess."

"You have an insect kink? An alien kink?" Derek stared.

"First of all, don't be a judgemental ass, Mr. Freaky Wolf Dick. And secondly, no, I do not have an insect or alien kink. I don't even have an egg laying kink. I just like the idea of slowly being stuffed full, as you have shown me with your freaky wolf dick." Stiles gestured to him with the ovipositor.

Derek stared disdainfully.

"I also think it would be a grand idea for you to fuck me with an ass full of these eggs. I think I'm a sex genius honestly."

"I don't think you experience humility, do you?"

"Probably not." Stiles shrugged. "It'd be even better if you would do the honors of laying me? Both and literally and... well yeah I guess both definitions of lay are accurate here." Stiles sniggered.

"You're crazy." Derek said, sitting on the bed as Stiles prepared.

Apparently he had bought a massive bottle of thick, cum-like lube, complete with hand pump along with the ovipositor, as well as a large syringe that already seemed to be filled with the lube.

"Let me guess, the syringe also goes up your ass."

Stiles did finger guns at Derek before turning back and pumping several large pumps of the lube into the bowl and mixed the eggs around, soaking them in the lube.

Stiles undressed and carried the bowl to the bed where Derek remained clothed. He had laid out several layers of towels and climbed up onto all fours.

"Is there some kind of... mood, you're looking for?" Derek asked, rubbing Stiles's haunches appreciatively.

"Just go with it, Derek."

"Jesus." Derek said as he settled behind Stiles. Stiles often liked things rough and quick. Sometimes he preferred Derek to not even properly prepare him.

"Use the syringe first."

Derek picked up the intimidating syringe and carefully inserted the tip inside Stiles, slowly pressing the plunger down about two inches.

Stiles moaned at the feeling, wiggling his hips when Derek removed the syringe.

Derek squirted a small amount around Stiles's pucker and rubbed it with his fingers before sinking his middle finger down to the last knuckle.

"Don't bother with prep, Der. I want the stretch."

Derek rolled his eyes and reached for the dildo.

"Make sure you put lube inside of it, too."

When Derek had done so, he carefully placed the tip of the dildo inside of Stiles. It wasn't necessarily designed for fucking so it was a very soft, flexible silicone and he actually had to use two fingers to press it inside. He went to reach for the bowl of eggs when Stiles said, "No, put it all the way in Derek. I want them deep."

Derek pressed his palm on the bottom of the dildo and pushed until the base was snug against Stiles' ass, who moaned appreciatively. Derek picked up an egg, dripping with lube and curiously placed it into the gaping hole in the bottom of the base with his palm. It easily popped in and Derek watches in hungry fascination as he literally watched the multicolored egg get swallowed by Stiles' hole.

Stiles' toes curled and he opened his mouth as he felt the egg slide down the dildo before settling deep in him. "Another."

Derek felt his cock stir in the confines of his pants as he picked up another egg, pushing it in the base and watching it get swallowed with a sticky "shlup".

Stiles moaned again as the egg slid over his prostate in the silicone channel, swaying his hips a little. "Another."

Derek was surprised to realize so quickly he could get used to this. He grabbed two eggs this time, popping one in right after the other, and Stiles gasped, head popping up as the pressure in his belly grew. Derek growled as Stiles contracted around the loose silicone, making the gaping silicone hole wink at him with a wet s _hnuk shnuk._

Derek couldn't help himself, grabbing Stiles's hips in his iron grip. He pulled Stiles' bare thighs flush to his own jean clad thighs, grinding and humping his cock into the base of the silicone as he loomed over Stiles. "You get off on this? Being filled with eggs?"

"Derek I want more." Stiles moaned softly, rolling his hips against Derek so the silicone pressed deeper.

Derek growled at the pressure and grazed his teeth behind Stiles's ear. "You fucking slut."

Derek fucking heard the silicone clamp wetly with Stiles's contraction. _Shluck_.

He turned and grabbed another egg, popping it into the silicone, and then thrust his hips against Stiles with a harsh thump, and ground in circles as the egg was wiggled inside the silicone as it descended.

Stiles gasped, whorishly, almost sounding feminine cock rock hard and weeping copiously. "D-Derek. Fuck. This is..."

Derek popped another egg in. Stiles now had six respectably large eggs in his ass and Derek was so turned on he was shaking.

"Urrgh, Stiles." Derek growled, and began humping Stiles' ass like he was fucking him. The silicone base popping in and out incrementally with each movement.

"Oh my God, Derek." Stiles' moan had a hint of laughter in it. "You're f-fucking me with the dil-do ohh. Th-he eggs are moving."

Derek growled louder, wrapping his arms around Stiles' shoulders, humping harder and faster. "I bet you feel so fucking full, Stiles. Like you've been properly bred."

The words sent a whole new pang of pleasure through Stiles, cock flexing and spitting precum on the sheets below him. "Derek please, I want more."

Derek forced himself to hault his efforts and kneel back, red in the face as he grabbed a seventh egg. This time when he pressed it in, it had a little resistance, like there wasn't much space left for it. Derek had to sink it past the ring of muscles with two of his fingers and Stiles moaned throatily.

Derek couldn't take it anymore. He ripped his fly open, shoving his jeans down just enough to pull his cock out, which was deep red, burning and heavy with blood. The veins over the base where the knot was already threatening to bloom were bulging. Derek pinched the base of the silicone and pulled it out with the other. Ensuring any eggs remained inside.

Stiles gasped as the silicone left and the eggs rearranged inside him.

Derek quickly lined up and thrust inside, parting the eggs aside and began pounding aggressively.

Stiles cried out, legs lifting up and stretching behind him at the sensation. He was only prevented from falling by Derek's large hands on his hips. "Oh, fuck fuck, Derek! You're making them slosh ar-round! I'm so full!"

Derek shifted, ears going pointed and hair sprouting along his cheeks, eyes burning red as he fucked animalistically. The eggs were staying towards the tip of Derek's dick, but would nudge their way down Stiles' channel when Derek pulled out, and then jostled and mixed with each other as he thrust back in. "I'll fucking breed you, Stiles. Make you full with my pups. You like that?"

Stiles nodded, disoriented as he was fucked within an inch of his life.

Derek suddenly pulled out and spread Stiles' ass cheeks to stare at the gaping hole. One of the eggs immediately followed and popped out, coated in froth as Stiles whimpered.

Derek picked the egg back up and shoved it back in, slapping him directly on his gaping pucker so Stiles yiped and clenched, before shoving back in and pounding. He slipped his hands further down from Stiles' hips to his abdomen, pressing down as he fucked.

Stiles cried out at the added pressure, Derek's knot swelled, unloading a massive torrent of cum inside. Derek roared and pushed Stiles onto his stomach. Stiles cried into the mattress as he shook on the edge, the eggs and Derek's knot pulsing on his prostate. He tried to hump back desperately to reach the orgasm that felt like was literally being witheld from him, but was pressed to tightly down. He clenched hard around Derek, who groaned, and screamed as his orgasm hit. He soaked the sheets underneath him, his dick shooting ropes of watery cum under his belly.

It was a few minutes before Derek and Stiles came back to earth. Derek sat up and slowly pulled out his mostly deflated knot. It came out with a wet shplop, and was immediately followed by a gush of cum, lube and all seven eggs, each one making an obscenely wet popping sounds as they came out of Stiles' ruined hole. Stiles' toes curling at the sensation.

"You... need... to try this." Stiles mumbled.

"We need a new bed and maybe some tarps, honestly." Derek said, staring at the mess.


	2. Derek's Dozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek's turn with the beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just trying too hard ; u ;

A couple nights later, it was Derek's turn to try this egg thing, and he was very apprehensive.

"Oh come on, Derek. You really wanna do this in the bath tub?" Stiles said as Derek sulked in said tub, a folded towel under his neck, legs pulled up.

"I'm done with messes. And knowing you, you'll make it even worse than I did." Derek glared. "And I don't even know if I'll like this. You're the one with the weird kinks."

"I told you, I always have you in mind when it comes to my kinks. You don't seem to mind executing these with me, grumpy face." Stiles turned on the tap, filling the tub about an inch to keep Derek warm from the cold ceramic.

Stiles started off kissing Derek, who was distant at first but slowly grew more interested, reaching into the kiss with fervor. When Stiles started teasing Derek's crack with a lubed finger, he shivered.

Stiles sunk his finger down the middle knuckle, working Derek open as he kissed him, kneeling on the bathroom tile.

He teased Derek's prostate when he got to two fingers, swallowing Derek's soft moans as he worked Derek into arousal.

By the time he got to three fingers, Derek's cock was weeping and hard, curving into his belly, one leg draped over the edge of the tub, toes flexing as Stiles fingers thrust in and out easily.

"I think you're ready, Derek." Stiles laughed softly, pulling away from Derek's blushed face.

He grabbed the syringe full of cum-lube, which had been sitting in a bowl of hit water to warm it and easily inserted it into Derek. He depressed the plunger and released a generous amount of lube inside.

Derek squirmed and tried to hold back the moan he felt as heat flooded him. His cock flexed and wept a drop of precum onto his belly.

Stiles withdrew the syringe and picked up the tentacle-like dildo, also known as a Splorch. He carefully inserted the tip inside Derek and pushed it a quarter of the way in so the tip was lined directly under Derek's prostate.

He turned and grabbed the first of twelve silicone eggs, and popped it into the hole at the base of the toy. The egg bulged the silicone and Stiles had to squeeze it down the channel until it reached Derek's rim, squeezing it inside.

He watched Derek's mouth drop open a little when the egg entered him and pressed directly onto his prostate.

"Another?" Stiles asked.

Derek nodded, a little hesitant.

Stiles slid another one down the silicone, squeezing past Derek's rim, whose toes curled at the sensation again. On the third egg, he moaned deeply, now that he was getting a feel for the sensation and the weight of the eggs inside him.

Stiles pushed the dildo halfway in and worked a fourth egg inside. Derek's jaw dropped open on a sigh of pleasure and his hips popped up a little, making the bath water slosh.

"See? I told you." Stiles said smugly. He squirted a little more lube into the base of the dildo before grabbing a fifth egg. "You think you can take more?"

Derek nodded. "Please."

Stiles smiles as he slides the egg in. "Wow, the alpha says please."

"Fuck you- ah!" Derek could feel himself getting full, but he wanted more. Stiles took seven last time. He wanted to beat him and take all twelve.

Stiles slid a sixth in, and began massaging Derek right where his bladder was, under where his cock was resting rigid. Derek's cock flexed and spat precum, Derek moaning at the pressure and wiggling as he was overwhelmed.

By the time the eighth was sliding into him, he was sure he was going to cum before they got to twelve and he was feeling a ton of pressure in his stomach, bladder and prostate, making him shiver and ache.

"Derek I think you're pushing yourself too much." Stiles said as he watched his boyfriend gritting his teeth and sweating profusely.

"N-no. All the way in, S-Stiles. Put it all the way in."

"Fucking size queen." Stiles grumbled as he pushed the base of the dildo down to meet Derek's cheeks.

Derek moaned and gripped the sides of the tub. "Y-you did it too, don't lie."

"Are you sure you want more? I don't even know how you're holding eight of these inside you right now."

"More, Stiles. Now." Derek glared, pupils dilated.

Stiles picked up one more egg and pushed it down the channel. Then another. Then another. Derek's moans taking a high note, toes flexing and curling, cock turning purple.

Stiles looked at the last egg in his hand, and pressing it into the base, discovered that it stopped abruptly in the dildo, still visible in the base when Stiles looked.

"More, God, please." Derek whimpered, rolling his hips.

Stiles stood up and removed his clothes, stepping into the tub to kneel between Derek's legs. "There aren't anymore, Derek. You took them all. Just like a little whore. They're all clogged in the dildo."

Stiles pinched the base of the shaft so the eggs would stay inside and pulled the dildo out. Derek flinched every time the remaining eggs popped out of the shaft on it's exit. The eggs shifted and rearranged as the dildo's removal allowed more space to be taken. Derek whimpered when Stiles had to push two fingers inside his hole to keep the eggs from popping out.

"Fuck me, Stiles, please."

Stiles hauled Derek's ankles up onto his shoulders, pressing his hips into Derek, but not pressing inside.

"There's no room, Derek. You're all filled up. I don't know how you're doing it, but you are." Stiles leaned down to kiss Derek's red, sweaty face. "You literally have a whole dozen in your ass right now, Derek."

Derek shuddered and humped against Stiles a little desperately. "I need more, Stiles. I'm so close. I need more."

"Jesus." Stiles cursed. He sat for a moment, pondering before leaning back out the tub to grab the syringe that was still three-fourths full of cum. He had to keep a finger pressed inside on one of the eggs because Derek was so full, but Stiles managed to pop the syringe in, and released the rest of the cum in a harsh push so the cum released inside like a long jet spray.

Derek didn't quite feel it considering the eggs were filling him so completely, but he felt the liquid soak him further and add a little more pressure. He couldn't quite squirm since his legs were over Stiles' shoulders but he whined appreciatively.

Stiles pressed himself tightly against Derek's bum, cock hard and peeking from under Derek's balls as he used his own body to keep the eggs in. When he humped against Derek incrementally, Derek immediately began breathing like an orgasm was crescending.

"Jesus and you thought this was my kink, Derek."

"Fuck, Stiles." Derek gripped his own sweaty hair, clenching his fists trying not to grip his cock. He had been on the edge five eggs ago.

Lube oozed and squelched out of Derek, pooling and splitting in the water below them. Stiles watched the cum-like lube bubble as he gave a particularly rough thrust, Derek's eyes shooting wide as a long stream of precum burst from his dick. Stiles moaned when he actually felt Derek's ass bear down against his cock, his hole body shaking and an egg squeezed it's way out, popping into sight and over Stiles's hip as it pushed it's way from inbetween their bodies, plopping into the water.

Stiles was extremely turned on but also worried for Derek's body at this point, and pulled his hips away.

Immediately Derek gasped and lurched as all the eggs and lube came rushing out in a loud mess, splashing into the water and turning it milky.

Derek was sobbing, mouth open as his cock spurt one rope of cum onto his belly, his hole clamping and contracting on the sudden emptiness.

Stiles stared, dumb-founded. "Is that what I looked like?"

"S-Stiles!"

"Huh?" He looked up to see a very desperate Derek Hale, eyes brimming with tears as he spread his ass cheeks open, cock just as purple and rigid as before.

"You need to fuck me now!"

"You seriously didn't cum?" Stiles gaped, in shock.

"Stiles I am going to fucking kill you if you don't fuck me!" Derek spat.

Stiles cursed again and took his cock in hand, guided it to Derek's loose hold and pressed inside. He immediately began a rough pace, sloshing water and slapping against Derek's painfully as he fucked him.

Derek gripped Stiles's arms and grit his teeth as his hole bore down again in a strong contraction, obscene wet _spelch_ sounds ringing in the bathroom as Stiles fucked him.

"Yes yes yes yes yesyesyesyesyes!" Derek spoke through his teeth, made an ugly face as his body curled in a crunch, legs lifting off Stiles's shoulders as the most intense orgasm that seemed to solely involve his ass was pulled through him. He stayed silent for several moments as he worked through the strong contraction, then gasped for air and laid back. Stiles had gone still and silent too as he rode out Derek's orgasm, then moaned and cried with Derek as Derek immediately took his cock in hand and stroked it visciously, humping himself on Stiles's cock, and threw himself into a second orgasm of a different kind, his cock pouring cum like lava over his hands, having lost the strength to actually shoot, it just oozed heavily and coated him and Stiles in the hot, sticky mess. Stiles growled and, pulling out, spilled his own load directly onto Derek's cock and hand.

Ten minutes passed before either of them could say anything.

Stiles spoke before Derek, who seemed on the edge of consciousness. "Well, it's a good thing we're in the bath."


End file.
